get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
