these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
