At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
