Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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