Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
