bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
