I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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