Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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