my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
