ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
