I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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