census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
