So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
