I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
