dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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