I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's never too late to be topless.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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