So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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