put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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