Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
