i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
