I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
God I need to hump something, right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
