Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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