The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
