lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
