In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
