pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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