I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
