You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just google imaged poop.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
