I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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