I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
