you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
