I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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