Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
