Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
