i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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