I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
