how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
