We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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