Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
