Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
