Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
