if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
