the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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