You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
