..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
