already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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