I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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