Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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