Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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