Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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