I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
